It's best to never do things with half an ass

Saturday I was feeling unenthused. I don't know why, but I still felt obligated to ride. Dummy. It's freaking hot, work is insane, Yosh has been working really hard. Why push it? Our dressage ride on Friday was kinda sucky too. He started out nice, I pulled more than I legged, he got frustrated, I remembered how to ride, we ended on a relatively good note. Just frustrating because we could have ended on a really good note given how nicely he started out. 

In spite of my lack of enthusiasm Saturday, I trudged out to the field and dropped jumps. Most went to crossrails, one was left a tiny panel as part of a one stride. I tacked him up, he looked just as excited as I felt. He actually didn't open his mouth for the bit. Not clenching his teeth or throwing his head, just sitting there with my hand holding the bit in front of his closed mouth. I hadn't realized until he did that quite how polite he usually is about taking the bit right away. Communication man, I just went on about how he talks and I listen, then this... 

Mild protest aside, we kept the warm up short, working on bending myself to the right so that he could bend too, it worked mostly well. The transitions were improved from walk to trot, and trot to canter. But I cheated. Both our initial trot-canter transitions were accidents. Asking for a bigger trot and bend with the inside leg and he interpreted that as a canter transition. Because I wasn't actually asking for a canter I was still RIDING through it and so they were nice. How's that for confirmation that it is my problem with the trot-canter transitions?!?! 

Once we started jumping, I... kinda rode... we worked on keeping the TROT motion to most of the crossrails. Counting the trot rhythm out loud helps keep my body on the right rhythm so he stays in the trot. Maybe a lesson to use even without the jumps. The one stride went really well. He eyed the way out the first time, but with much less commitment than he did in our lesson last week, and I was more prepared, so I rode it better. The 4 stride line... ugh. Complete failure to sit up and ride between the fences for time 1 and 2. Time 3 I finally got it together because otherwise I was about to quit since it was a me problem not a him problem, not fair to keep drilling when I'm the one that sucks. 

We had one horrendous jump over a log. I'm honestly not sure what happened, we came in in the trot and then something went wrong. He jumped it really well, which sent my lower leg flying. WEEE... it went WAY back to the point that I felt it touch near what felt like his flank. He landed and had a bit of a protest over that. He galloped off with his mild attempts at bucking. The gallop was impressive, the bucking attempts amusing. Fair buddy, that was not a nice way to thank you for jumping. I apologized, slowed him down a bit, reapproached with a nice canter, sat up, put my hands forward, and kept my eye on the jump. Much better. By that point I actually had the sense to quit.

Sometimes my mom is not the brightest... I am a good boy anyways

It's weird... that sense of obligation, of having to get things done works well for me with running. If I skipped my run every time I felt lackluster about things, I would run about twice a month and then after a few months probably not at all. Because if I don't log the miles I loose fitness, running gets harder, I don't feel like running because it is hard, and so on until there is no running. It works well for me with my job too. But this doesn't translate to riding. 

As far as I can tell, there were three good options on Saturday: 

1) Walk trail ride. Still building fitness, seeing the world, stretching our legs. 

2) Ground work. That thing I keep saying I'll do. 

3) Nada. Let the horse be a horse. He's a thoroughbred who lives mostly out. He doesn't really need me to mess with him 5-6 times a week to stay fit for our lower level adventures. 

And the type of fitness he does need? Yeah... not fair to ask him when I'm not all there for the ride when he is still at the point of learning it and it is HARD for him. I want it to feel easy, so I need to do my part. If I am not committed to being an understanding, kind, thoughtful guide that day then it's best to not even try. And if he says "hey, today I don't really feel like taking that bit?" maybe I should listen and change the plan some. Bareback hack in the field in a halter? Grooming? Massage? All valid options that still help build our partnership and would do much more for his enjoyment in his job. 

He got more than his usual one post-ride carrot and got some good wither scratches afterwards. Sorry kid, this one is all me.